The Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee
by chromodynamic
Summary: Being happy is your duty. Do you understand that? It is your duty to be happy. Therefore, I hope you are all at ease and continue to be happy! A one-shot based on the song 'This is the Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee', with my own spin on things.


The grin on Miku's face seemed impossibly wide, her eyes sparkling madly, as she strode down the corridor. Her pace was preposterously fast for a person in high heels and long dress, and yet every step was as perfect as the last. Her speech to the public was prepared, and she was happy and ready for everything. The grin on her porcelain face somehow widened. She wasn't the only one who was happy. Everybody was happy, everywhere. The Committee had come to power just as everyone had always wanted all along. Everyone's happiness was the Committee's happiness, and the Committee's happiness was everyone's happiness.

The faces of the guards stationed at every last door, window, vent and otherwise were hidden by leering white masks that were twisted in mad hysteria. Even underneath those masks, the guards themselves were grinning madly at the perfection of the world, and of the woman striding through the corridor. The Committee had really, truly done it. Everyone in the country was as happy as they could be. Everyone who wasn't happy was being weeded out and exterminated one by one until the cancer of unhappiness was wiped out forever. The thought of it made Miku very happy.

Miku stopped abruptly at two guards standing by a door, and walked toward one of them. "Are you happy, Guardsman?" He hesitated, and so she snatched the man's pistol from its holster and with one pull of her finger painted the wall red behind him. "It's your duty!" As the corpse slumped against the wall, the other guard turned and emptied five rounds from his rifle into the body just to emphasise Miku's point. Towards the other guard Miku turned. "What of you?"

"Overjoyed, Ma'am." The guard said without hesitation, returning to his previous stance. "Today is a momentous day, one that will surely go down in the history books." She could hear the joy in his voice.

Miku hadn't once stopped smiling. "Indeed!" The pistol clattered to the floor beside the corpse, and she continued on her way down the corridor. Her soldiers were so loyal, and talking to them made her feel overjoyed. To have such devoted and steadfast guards at her beck and call was indeed a wondrous thing. It was such a shame that some of them were disobeying their duty to be happy, but then again every last beautiful rose had it's thorns. Miku knew that, and knowing things made Miku happy.

Her dress was the colour of their flag, a striking pastel yellow that made Miku think of sunlight and daisies and smiles and all these happy things. It was very fitting that the leader of the Committee wore these patriotic colours, these colours of joy and happiness delight. It made Miku proud to be who she was, and proud of all of her happy country.

At last, she reached the end of the corridor. The immense double doors, carved into which were dozens upon dozens of smiling faces, swung open. Miku walked out onto the balcony and into the refreshing sunlight, and the crowd roared. Every single man, woman and child was elated at her presence!. It made Miku feel practically euphoric as the rapturous applause and cheering washed over her. She knew that she must've looked amazing in that dress of hers, with her loyal guardsmen flanking her. Camera flashed and twinkled like the stars themselves had come to listen to her speak.

Another Committee member passed her the microphone with a smile. It was time for Miku to speak finally! The thought of speaking live to such an immense crowd of people thrilled her. "Alright!" Miku shouted, her voice echoing out across the plaza and over the city. There was little to no doubt that the whole city, nay, the entire country was listening to her speech. It made her feel positively over the moon! "Here we go! Come now, everyone, I'll kindly explain everything for you!"

More cheering. The crowd was eating it up - obviously they were starving for this kind of interaction with their glorious leader. To know that they were so desperate for her voice filled her with pride. "All the things you worry about, all the questions you have, - I'll kindly explain EVERYTHING for you!"

The cheering crescendoed once again, and Miku was forced to wait until they'd settled somewhat. It didn't frustrate her - if anything, the way they were cheering her was overpoweringly reassuring. "Um, everyone… being happy… It's your duty! Are you happy?"

Another deafening cheer. Their joy was so loud that Miku could feel it in her chest. "You know it's your duty, right? Are you doing as expected?" How wide would her smile spread today? It seemed there was no limit. "We, the Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee - Your happiness is our wish, and we'll support you! Being happy is your duty!"

Miku spread her arms wide, and the enraptured crowd cheered for her. "Being happy is your duty!" The screamed at the tops of their joy-filled lungs. "Being happy is your duty!"

After taking that moment to breathe, Miku brought the microphone back to her ever-widening smile. "Are you happy? You know it's your duty, right? Being happy is your duty!" The crowd repeated the phrase thrice over before letting her continue. "Are you happy? It's your duty! Therefore, we hope you'll be at ease and do your duty! Your happiness is our happiness! Are you happy? It's your duty, okay? Are you doing your duty! If you aren't content..." Miku laughed at what she was about to say. It was funny, really. Positively hilarious. Everybody knew the words.

Everybody in the crowd spoke at once, and it was glorious. "Hanging, decapitation, firing squad, boiling, drowning, electrocution, burning, buried alive, poisoning, stoning, dismemberment, crucifixion!"

"Pick whichever you like!" The crowed roared their approval once more, somehow even louder than before. Birds throughout the city, seemingly also feeling the joy of the people, took flight in celebration. "Alrighty! Come now, everyone, you should be full of only happiness! Worries and dissatisfaction, you don't have any, right?" Cheering, cheering, cheering. Every time the crowd cheered, Miku felt happier than she'd ever felt before, because she knew that these were her people. These were her people, and she'd freed them from sorrow. "How scary, it really is scary! You are all so happy it's scary!" That was also true, somewhat. Their joy was overwhelming. Each cheer of the immense crowd sent a spike of cold awe lancing into her chest. She had truly made them that happy. And nobody - nobody it all - felt bed.

And if anybody in that crowd was faking it, Miku was going to find them and kill them herself.

* * *

"Please, no…" The man begged, his wrists bloodied and worn where he'd struggled with his ties. A black fabric bag was fastened around his head, though Miku had little to know doubt as to his expression. The wooden pole - one of many in the line - he had been strapped to was cratered and splintered with bullet impacts, and the ground around it was stained and soaked with spilled blood, fresh and stale. "Just… Just let me go. I'll never come back."

Firing squad was one of Miku's favourite methods of dealing with all those cancerous sad people. The rapid thud-thud-thud of the small calibre, high RPM firearms made her feel so alive, especially when she was amongst those pulling the trigger. Not only that, but executions as a whole were a comforting action to perform on those who were not happy. It freed them of all of their mortal worries and woes that they were ever so clearly unable to escape from, allowing their souls to finally be happy and at peace with the world.

Almost gently, a guard removed the bag from his head. The man looked up at Miku, crying like an infant. Infants didn't necessarily know how to be happy yet, but a grown man did. "I… I have a family. Please don't kill me." The tears that fell from his face were disgusting. It truly made her happy that he was being freed. Smiling gracefully, Miku waved her hand and the prisoners tied to the other poles had their bags removed. "M-Meiko? Rin? Len?"

"K… Kaito?"

"What… What's going on?!"

"Are the cameras rolling?" A guard nodded and handed Miku his rifle, the safety off and the mode set to fully automatic. Such loyal soldiers, giving up the rifles they maintain themselves just so she could use them. They always made her so happy. "Ready!" She called, grinning. Ten rifles lowered at four prisoners. Making people happy was the Committee's business. Freeing this family would make them the happiest people on the planet. "Free them!"

They fired until the magazines were empty.

Miku was very happy.


End file.
